The future?

We usually leave the crystal ball gazing to our resident astrologer, but extraordinary times call for extaordinary measures. Here is prediction of what will happen by another member of the collective who says "I'm cautious about making predictions while everything is in a state of flux, but this is almost certainly what is going to happen". If you have a better prediction, send it to us at freedomshopaotearoa@gmail.com.

Probable timeline
May 2020 – Lockdown extended. Ardern condemns panic buying and praises mutual aid groups for keeping communities functioning.

June 2020 – Ardern condemns mutual aid groups and issues plea for people to panic buy in order to keep businesses afloat.

August 2020 – Economy collapses.

September 2020 – Wave of collectivisations sweeps country as businesses fail.

January 2021 – Financial Times newspaper changes name to 'Mutual Aid Times'.

August 2021 – NZ military called out, but return to barracks saying people were being mean to them.

November 2021 – Massive environmental recovery as industry and farming decentralised. Dolphins sighted in Waikato River.

December 2021 – Hamilton man killed and eaten by dolphins in Waikato River.

March 2022 – Remaining capitalist enterprises demand government support and are referred to the Historic Places Trust.

April 2022 – Ardern's re-election campaign founders on small turnout and emergence of footage showing the PM shooting a yeti with a machine gun while on a family holiday in Nepal. Winston Peters becomes Prime Minister, according to report on page 19 of 'Teen Vogue'.

September 2023 – Unicorns discovered on remote Indian Ocean island. They have rainbow manes and tails and are highly tolerant and accepting of non-unicorns.

December 2023 – Simon Bridges and James Shaw referred to mandatory community gardening work after a punch-up when both attend a 'Fridays for Getting Government Back' vigil on the former parliament lawn, now a wheat field.

April 2027 – Calls for more history teaching in community skill shares after survey reveals 62% of teenagers don't know New Zealand once had a government.


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